Saturday, December 31, 2011

A review of 2011 - Part 2 - Happiness, Sadness, Death, Life, Lessons

So what makes a good year?
Where the good experiences outweigh the bad?
Or that we have learned to be better through the mistakes, hurts and regrets? Good or bad, there will always be both and somehow, both good and bad eventually balances itself.
For every bad experience, there will be a good lesson. For every good experience, there will be an end to it eventually. Like they say, every cloud has a silver lining.

The second part of my review talks of both.

I have experienced the departures of dear family members of my friends.

One, a close friend, Daren, whose friendship has transcended time...a friendship over 25 years is certainly no easy feat. It was indeed painful to see him going through what he did. And even in the funeral, we could see the love of a son towards his father, the hopes he has and the regrets of not being able to fulfill the hopes for his father. But at the end of the day, life is as such and these are things that life throws at us. And I hope time will not make his memories towards his father any less, but perhaps will lessen the hurt of losing someone so dear.

And the other, the father of my junior Boss at work, Peter.
We have seen time and time how he had tried to juggle work while attending to his father's ill health. It was indeed tiring, even watching vicariously from where we are. But at the end of the day, perhaps death was a more comforting outcome than fighting cancer. It is painful yes, to have him see the loss of his dear father.
At the funeral service, this was were I have had a chance to listen to one of the more heartfelt and beautiful of eulogies. Peter, being a litigator, definitely knows how to speak in Court. But an eulogy is different from a court submission. And here is where I heard, perhaps something beautiful about commitments of a father, sacrifices for his children, life and eventually death in a single speech.

And then, as the end of 2010 showed me a revelation, that I am diagnosed as diabetic. It wasn't an easy taking it. It was a huge blow to my face. I couldn't for the love of God, tell anyone about it. Only those who are closest to me, family and my closest friends would eventually know. That called for a drastic change in lifestyle. I have given up many things but this was something new altogether. But heck, a year has passed and I'm still alive. So I thank God for that :) I now love my drinks sugar free. And I'm also much healthier than I was before my diagnosis. It's a challenge i have to take and something I will have to live with. :)

I would also learn that I have much to buck up in my work. As my boss had said, my assessment is very much different now and I should be able to take charge of more things and learn to assess things independently. Somehow, I am still afraid of doing that, but it isn't an option that I can pick. It's something that I need to do. Its a challenge to myself, and a challenge that I know, have the ability to see through. I just need His guidance and His help to give me the strength to discern and to see things through.

Of course, what is life without good memories? Much has been achieved too this year. I got a new car, a new watch, an Iphone 4S (Now, I'm always connected and I wont have to sms for updates and information; especially during rallies aha), but this are all superficial and material.

The bigger achievements this year, how we stood up against fear infliction and tyranny of rule during Bersih 2.0, something monumental for the us, the church, my friends and the people of Malaysia. And perhaps that was the last great rally after the passing of the Peaceful Assembly Bill. We fought against the Bill - Kill the Bill as they say, but failed. But it only spurred us for a hunger for change and come 2012, elections, the tides will turn. In any event, we will continue to fight for a better Malaysia.
(If you think that these events do not concern you at all, then I feel gravely sorry for you and I hope that you will understand that these fights, are for, if not this generation, then for the generation that is to come; i.e your children. And I hope in time, you will join this wave of change.)

On the world stage, we have seen waves of protests, bringing change, particularly the Egypt uprising, the toppling of Gaddafi's Libya and more uprisings within the Arab Spring. We have seen the death of a dictator in Kim Jung Il. Change is happening all around. For the better or for worst? We may not know for sure, but we do know that changes are overdue.

Closer to home, also I have grown closer to my colleagues of whom are all different in their ways but yet, shown much humility and kindness and also sharing the same sense of humour. I have seen them over the years, but only as colleagues and as I get to know them better, they are true and genuine friends. I'm blessed to have meet people like them over the years. And over the years, I am also blessed to have met good friends and people I still stay in touch with. I hope this trend of blessings continue on.

So, I also feel that in some ways, 2012 may be an extension of 2011, all that is left unsettled and not left behind. Things that I still need to deal with. Ghosts of which have yet been fully exorcised. I hope I may see an end to some things and start afresh with new things. It will take time but with His grace and strength, I know i will pull through.

May we all have a better year ahead and may 2012 be a year of overcoming challenges and greater revelations.

Happy New Year All! Let's make 2012 a blast!

I leave you with something I picked up along the way. Two of the quirkiest stars in Hollywood :)

Monday, December 12, 2011

A review of 2011 - Part 1

AS 2011 closes in, in retrospect, so much has been done, and yet sometimes, it feels as if it's so little.

And yes, I have a December curse, I seem to be getting it a lot during the month of December. Well, to sum it up, I tore my Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) and my medial collateral ligament. The good news is, the Doc informed me based on the X Ray reports that there was no fracture. But the MRI shows something grimmer and with stories of friends who came through hell and back from an ACL reconstruction, I was praying that it wasn't an ACL tear. But as earlier mentioned, it proved to be. Arrr..darn...

Well, it happened during the Firm futsal tournament. 1 win 1 lost and one more to play for. Being Captain for a team is nice. Tried to be as competitive but also reminded my team to have fun while playing. And the third game, up against my Bosses team and folks I know who were seasoned players, I relished the challenge. But as circumstances were anything to go by, I had an unusual tumble and my foot caught the turf while my body twisted along with my knee and then I realized, this is it. My first knee injury.
Ok, really its nothing to be proud of, but these are things that happened when you least expect them to. Well, you live by the sword, you die by the sword? ahaha

Anyway, December hasn't truly ended yet, so there may be a different twist to the ending of my 2011 story.

Ah...the story of my life.

Alright, once again in retrospect, 2011 was a year of revelations. The people I meet, the people I've become closer to. The people whom you think you know, but not always who they are. Revelations of who you trust and who you should be more cautious with. It's interesting really.

At work, what was once a tranquil department, although ripples appeared now and then, things are finally revealed. Perhaps it came at a cost, but it was something that needed to happened as the dirt under the carpet long swept became visible and apparent. It's cleansing time. It has to happened and it's a positive thing that it happened.

Yeah. I speak in summaries. Well, as a friend of mine said, "there's trouble in paradise". How apt.

So, I leave you here with pictures of my lovely knee brace.
I was branded Robocop by the Despatch boys in my firm and Forrest Gump by my cell group members. This became Robogump.
All hail Robogump!!

I may do a bucket list in 2012. That would include doing stand up comedy. Hey, Never try never know right?

OK. Till my next post before 2012 scratches my door!