Saturday, December 31, 2011

A review of 2011 - Part 2 - Happiness, Sadness, Death, Life, Lessons

So what makes a good year?
Where the good experiences outweigh the bad?
Or that we have learned to be better through the mistakes, hurts and regrets? Good or bad, there will always be both and somehow, both good and bad eventually balances itself.
For every bad experience, there will be a good lesson. For every good experience, there will be an end to it eventually. Like they say, every cloud has a silver lining.

The second part of my review talks of both.

I have experienced the departures of dear family members of my friends.

One, a close friend, Daren, whose friendship has transcended time...a friendship over 25 years is certainly no easy feat. It was indeed painful to see him going through what he did. And even in the funeral, we could see the love of a son towards his father, the hopes he has and the regrets of not being able to fulfill the hopes for his father. But at the end of the day, life is as such and these are things that life throws at us. And I hope time will not make his memories towards his father any less, but perhaps will lessen the hurt of losing someone so dear.

And the other, the father of my junior Boss at work, Peter.
We have seen time and time how he had tried to juggle work while attending to his father's ill health. It was indeed tiring, even watching vicariously from where we are. But at the end of the day, perhaps death was a more comforting outcome than fighting cancer. It is painful yes, to have him see the loss of his dear father.
At the funeral service, this was were I have had a chance to listen to one of the more heartfelt and beautiful of eulogies. Peter, being a litigator, definitely knows how to speak in Court. But an eulogy is different from a court submission. And here is where I heard, perhaps something beautiful about commitments of a father, sacrifices for his children, life and eventually death in a single speech.

And then, as the end of 2010 showed me a revelation, that I am diagnosed as diabetic. It wasn't an easy taking it. It was a huge blow to my face. I couldn't for the love of God, tell anyone about it. Only those who are closest to me, family and my closest friends would eventually know. That called for a drastic change in lifestyle. I have given up many things but this was something new altogether. But heck, a year has passed and I'm still alive. So I thank God for that :) I now love my drinks sugar free. And I'm also much healthier than I was before my diagnosis. It's a challenge i have to take and something I will have to live with. :)

I would also learn that I have much to buck up in my work. As my boss had said, my assessment is very much different now and I should be able to take charge of more things and learn to assess things independently. Somehow, I am still afraid of doing that, but it isn't an option that I can pick. It's something that I need to do. Its a challenge to myself, and a challenge that I know, have the ability to see through. I just need His guidance and His help to give me the strength to discern and to see things through.

Of course, what is life without good memories? Much has been achieved too this year. I got a new car, a new watch, an Iphone 4S (Now, I'm always connected and I wont have to sms for updates and information; especially during rallies aha), but this are all superficial and material.

The bigger achievements this year, how we stood up against fear infliction and tyranny of rule during Bersih 2.0, something monumental for the us, the church, my friends and the people of Malaysia. And perhaps that was the last great rally after the passing of the Peaceful Assembly Bill. We fought against the Bill - Kill the Bill as they say, but failed. But it only spurred us for a hunger for change and come 2012, elections, the tides will turn. In any event, we will continue to fight for a better Malaysia.
(If you think that these events do not concern you at all, then I feel gravely sorry for you and I hope that you will understand that these fights, are for, if not this generation, then for the generation that is to come; i.e your children. And I hope in time, you will join this wave of change.)

On the world stage, we have seen waves of protests, bringing change, particularly the Egypt uprising, the toppling of Gaddafi's Libya and more uprisings within the Arab Spring. We have seen the death of a dictator in Kim Jung Il. Change is happening all around. For the better or for worst? We may not know for sure, but we do know that changes are overdue.

Closer to home, also I have grown closer to my colleagues of whom are all different in their ways but yet, shown much humility and kindness and also sharing the same sense of humour. I have seen them over the years, but only as colleagues and as I get to know them better, they are true and genuine friends. I'm blessed to have meet people like them over the years. And over the years, I am also blessed to have met good friends and people I still stay in touch with. I hope this trend of blessings continue on.

So, I also feel that in some ways, 2012 may be an extension of 2011, all that is left unsettled and not left behind. Things that I still need to deal with. Ghosts of which have yet been fully exorcised. I hope I may see an end to some things and start afresh with new things. It will take time but with His grace and strength, I know i will pull through.

May we all have a better year ahead and may 2012 be a year of overcoming challenges and greater revelations.

Happy New Year All! Let's make 2012 a blast!

I leave you with something I picked up along the way. Two of the quirkiest stars in Hollywood :)

No comments: