Sunday, January 22, 2012

Family - You can't choose em :)

I was having a conversation with my sister.
I was told that someone told her that family is 'over rated'.
By 'over-rated', I don't really know what it means exactly, but I may have an understanding of what I think it may mean.

When I was younger, family was always there. Something that I know I can come back home to.
When I was growing up, in my tweens and my teens, I didn't like to be around family. I thought it was 'cool' to not be with family. I would just force myself to have dinners with them and then go out and do my own thing. I just didn't want my mom or dad to breathe down my neck or tell me things in front of my friends.

It simply WASN'T COOL!! Especially not in front of the girls!!!

Well, and then when my sister left for KL to study and my Mom went to Singapore to earn more money (to put it very bluntly), suddenly, family shrunk.

It was just my dad and I. And things took a different turn. I ate many many dinners with him cause we both hardly cook. Its hard to cook for two and being men, I suppose its simply easier to eat out. And we had many good conversations. The times when I stumble and did some many a stupid thing which ordinarily would freak average minded parents they were there for me. My dad locally and mom from Singapore would worry for me.

And perhaps through all the absence of the family not being together, it was quite empty to say the least. Well, only felt a little bit though, but I felt it nevertheless. I normally don't care for these things. But also the conversations that I had with my dad, it reached a new level. No longer did I see my dad as a disciplinarian which he was when I was younger (I grew up by the rod and I think it was well worth it), but someone whom I can engage into long conversations with about life and perceptions.

And I took time offs to see my mom in Singapore and she would spend her hard earned money so that I have a comfortable trip each time I visited her. Of course being me, I took advantage of that and would buy many stuff that I normally don't have the chance to buy. It was like the floodgates had opened! HAHAHA.
OK that was beside the point. But from that, I did see the love and sacrifice that she has endured for her kids. For money for better education and better living. And to buy a blue Nike bag and a Manchester United jersey (circa 2000-20001). I was a brat. And I knew it. And I see the love that my mom has for me.

In college, things took a change. It was cool to hang around parents. To spend time with them when they visited KL and to just go shopping with them. Of course in all honesty, when they hit the departmental stores to browse their stuff, I would frolick on my own still :) But hey, it's still with family. Or to take them around KL. Just to hang out. COOL.

You can choose your friends, they come and go. But family is always there. Or always connected whether you like it or not. Through bloodlines or proximity. You can't choose them. God chose them for you.

So, coming back to this bloke who said that family is over-rated, he is 26 now. And I do feel sorry for him. Alas, he is entitled to his opinion :)

I would have thought that family was over rated..when i was 15-16 but they mean the world to me now. And I believe many of you out there would feel the same :)

For good times with Family (past and present, core and extended), here's to a Happy Chinese New Year 2012.
Me and my Grandma - She's having Alzheimer's so she spaces out very often. It's really sad to see her like that, but always nice to see a smile on her face which is worth more than anything.

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