Thursday, March 8, 2012

5 Ways to Get Through A Jam

Traffic Jams.
If you live in Kuala Lumpur, then you've gotta endure that kinda crap everyday.
I know, cause I do endure that kinda crap everyday when I go to work. Even in my hometown of Ipoh, traffic is starting to get congested.
Very rare back in the good ol' days. But not in KL. KL is the jam capital of Malaysia.

I was even told off by a judge once that traffic jams is never an excuse for being late in court. I agreed wholeheartedly and all I could only do is muster my most sincerest apologies. I had nothing more to say about being late as it is the truth but the truth is just never enough on those occasions.

Why do traffic jams happen? Sometimes a stalled car. Sometimes an accident. Sometimes, people stopping by the side of the road to offer help to these victims. Sometimes people stopping by the side of the road to GET THE CAR PLATE NUMBERS of those victims (my best guess is that they feel lucky and their next destination would be the lottery joint). Sometimes events only God will ever know.

So, what do we do when we are caught in a jam? Do we get angry? Do we complain? Is complaining going to help? Nah. It won't but we complain anyway.

Here are 5 ways to make your jams less intolerable:-

Lots and lots of music in your car

Be it your CD collection or stuffing butt-loads of music into your mp3 player or even listening to HItz FM gotcha calls in morning, it works. Well at least it works for me. If I'm feeling intelligent I would listen to BFM, 89.9, the only business radio station :).
If you had a long hard day and you just wanna let loose, play some heavy metal music. Or equally as loud and bad, play some classical music or opera! Or if you feel that your heart is heavy, play some jazz or some Engelbert Humperdinck. And if you're feeling suicidal, some BSB or N Sync might just do the trick :)

Play your favourite air instrument

If you are a musician, then play your favourite air instrument. Be it the air guitar (this is / or should be by far the most common of air instruments), the air drums, the air cello, the air bass, the air harmonica, or heck, even the air harp if you will.
Well if you are not a musician, it doesn't matter. It's not rocket science and you don't need a musical degree or background to play air guitar, I kid you not. Just follow the music and it will flow naturally.
As for me, I choose the air drums, but I would alternate between bass and guitar too. Oh, the air harp too at times.
If the car next to you thinks you're crazy, so what? I bet he secretly wants to play the air harmonium if only he knew how!

Get a smartphone

If you have smartphone, i.e. Iphone 4S, Galaxy S2, Galaxy Tab or the rest, then this is the best time to utilize the smartphone. See, now you can check your Facebook or your friends' Facebook statuses even in a jam. Or you can complain and tweet about how bad the jam is on Twitter, and if you're in luck, your friends are probably stuck in the same jam as you are! And if you have Words with Friends, isn't this the best time to reply and think of an awesome 'word' to put on the board? That way you don't have to waste your sleeping time or your work time to play Words! Now, please don't start playing Temple Run in a jam though. Just because its on a smartphone, it doesn't work the same as what I mentioned above. And if your car is stationed next to a police car, please for the love of Pete, throw that smartphone away!

No Smartphone? Then do a car census
Find a specific car that interests you. Count how many same type cars are on the road. What better time to observe and make your own census without getting into an accident right? Yes it is harder to do census cause you need to concentrate on your driving when you are actually driving! By the end of the week, you will know which are the highest and fastest selling cars in the market after this exercise! Please do not do any Perodua or Proton car census as your efforts will then be futile. Too many of those on the road.

See if the driver in the car next to you is a hottie
Whether we like it or not, we often meet people in the pathways of our lives. A jam is no different. So, look to the left or to the right to see if the driver next to you is a hottie, or an 'auntie'. At least you get to 'cuci mata' and this makes your jam more bearable. Who knows, that person may be observing you too. And if your eyes meet and sparks fly, who knows what may come eh? If not, please don't stare too long. It will probably creep him/her out and if he/she whips out her phone and starts dialing, you can bet your ringgit he/ she ain't replying his/her friend on Words with Friends!

Ok. So, there you go.
Some suggestions to make a more pleasant driving experience under terrible jams. But please practice safe driving alright. Especially do not practice #3 when there are cops in the vicinity. I won't be responsible for your driving summons. And #5 if you see Jealous girlfriend or boyfriend sitting next to hottie.

Of course if you have court attendance in the morning, please don't ever be late! Nothing above will make a pleasant experience, this I can promise you!

Or, if anything goes, you can always do a Dave Grohl :)

Ok. Good night now.

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